Stephanie and Patrick’s inclusive and engaging humanist wedding ceremony

How to include and engage your guests through storytelling and a dash of humour!

Patrick and Stephanie had such a beautifully diverse group of cultures coming together at their wedding, with friends and family traveling from all over the world. It was important to them that their ceremony reflected their journey as a couple, how their story had grown and evolved through the love and support of everyone present on their wedding day. As they said of their guests ‘Without them, there wouldn't be 'us.' They wanted their ceremony to celebrate not just their love, but the incredible community that had shaped it. With a few simple touches, we ensure that everyone felt intentionally included and celebrated. Here’s how we did it with their bespoke humanist wedding ceremony.

Stephanie and Patricks guests settled in their seats enjoying the gentle and sometimes elusive Northern Irish summer sun. The Arco String Quartet began their rendition of ‘Spring 1’ by Max Richter signalling it was time for the ceremony to begin. Just beyond the greenhouse, Patrick and his mum followed by groomsmen, bridesmaids and flower girl walked up the aisle and took their places. Stephanie, accompanied by her very proud dad then made their way up to greet Patrick who was waiting.

To begin their ceremony and include everyone from the off, Stephanie and Patrick’s guests were invited to participate in a ring warming ritual. As I explained what this entailed, one of their groomsmen stood and held Stephanie and Patrick’s wedding which were tied securely to a ribbon, aloft for all to see. He then began passing the rings as guests were encouraged to hold or warm the rings between their hands, bestowing all of their best hopes, wishes and love they had for the nearlyweds. Once each person had taken a moment of reflection, the rings were passed to their neighbour so that everyone had an opportunity before the lovely pair needed them later in the ceremony. The ceremony continued as each guest participated in the ritual.

Now many of Stephanie and Patrick’s guests thought they were familiar with the sweet story of how their paths first crossed. It really was the stuff of fairytales, comparable to the engaging opening sequence of any Hollywood romcom and it went a little like this....

‘Our scene is set Vienna International Airport where our two lead characters are standing in line at the water fountain. Stephanie was catching a connecting flight to Kosovo to visit her father’s family, while Patrick was visiting his father in Austria. Whilst waiting her turn for the water fountain, Stephanie was on the phone with her mom, talking about Belfast, the city she had moved to for school. Patrick overheard, turned to Stephanie, and said he was from Belfast too! They struck up a conversation, yet went their separate ways, until fate brought them back together in the peanut butter aisle at the BIG Tesco in Belfast, when they both reached for the same jar……’

Yet this tale, dear reader, of star-crossed lovers is just that – it is just a tale! It was completely untrue! As you can imagine, a lot of gasping, giggling and amused shock ensued!

The real story began in 2020. After overhearing a conversation in a coffee shop in Cooperstown about Queen’s University Belfast, Stephanie was intrigued. Something about it stuck with her, and she applied on a spur of the moment. Within a month, she had packed up her life and moved to Belfast to study. A few years into her new life in Northern Ireland, in February 2022, the stars or more accurately, the algorithm finally aligned and Stephanie and Patrick matched on Bumble! What started as an exchange of memes quickly turned into something more. A real-life fairytale was unfolding before their very eyes.

From here, Patrick and Stephanie’s love story was shared with their guests which celebrated the challenges, the successes, the adventures, the proposal, their connection with family and friends and of course, the love that they have for each other. Their story culminated in personal vows they had written for each other and a ring exchange. You could hear a pin drop as their guests sat in quiet reverence at this powerful demonstration of love and devotion. As their wedding rings were exchanged, Stephanie and Patrick knew that every single person had held those rings closely and whispered words of love and support, cheering them on in their new adventure.

When it was finally time to announce the new Mr and Mrs, the sunken garden erupted in joy, jubilation and ecstasy! Every guest now knew Stephanie and Patrick’s origin story, they had been reminded why they were there and how important their presence was. Their participation in the ceremony will forever be entwined in the beautiful tapestry of Stephanie and Patrick’s lives.

This is but an example of how to create intentional meaning, inclusion and engagement with a bespoke humanist wedding ceremony. Putting the couple, their priorities and what and whom they love at the centre of it all.

Photos by Ten 21 Photo.